My Interpretation of If—
I wouldn’t really consider myself a stoic person, nor have I finished Meditations by Marcus Aurelius yet. However, one thing that has influenced me is the poem If. Praise the NCERT syllabus coordinator for assigning this poem to 6th graders because I genuinely feel that it has shaped the way I live my life. I am aware that Kipling was a flawed person, A good take on this topic by Orwell here but I believe we can separate the art from the artist.
I may interpret the poem differently from what Rudyard Kipling intended, which is perfectly fine.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
I interpret this stanza as a quintessential guide to staying calm when everything goes wrong. In moments beyond your control, or when you are being unfairly blamed for who you are or what you are doing (or something else), try to stay calm and rational. When people doubt your abilities or character, it is imperative to rise above their scepticism and place an ungodly amount of trust in yourself and your capabilities. At the same time, even if you possess exceptional skills (or think you are better than everyone else), it is equally important to remain receptive to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity to grow into a better person. After all, you don’t know what you don’t know.
Patience is key—don’t let waiting wear you down. Even when others are negative or lie about you, resist the urge to retaliate or resort to dishonesty. However, being the bigger person doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be a pushover. Stay true to yourself, be courteous, and maintain your composure. Hunker down and quietly focus on your work, avoiding the temptation to seek attention or come across as flashy. Instead, let your actions speak for themselves.
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
This serves as a guideline to ensure you strike a balance between rationality and, at times, unreasonable ambition. Sometimes, you know something doesn’t make much sense logically—something a sane and rational person would never attempt—but you do it anyway, simply because, why not? If you want to dream big, then by all means, dream big. But don’t stop there—take action to bring those dreams to life. Similarly, if you enjoy analyzing every detail, thinking about outcomes, and strategizing how to approach something, don’t get stuck in the thought process. Act. Sometimes, being overly rational can hold you back, especially when you can see the odds are not in your favour or there’s no obvious benefit. In those moments, stop overthinking and do something. What good is constantly sharpening your knife if you never use it?
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster \
And treat those two impostors just the same:
This is where my interpretation might differ from that of the Stoics. I believe it’s necessary to allow yourself to feel happy when you succeed and sad when things don’t go your way or when you fail. As long as you learn from both success and failure and have given your absolute best, winning or losing is the outcome that is bound to happen. I don’t interpret this as a call to avoid celebrating success or disregarding the lessons failure can teach us. For me, it’s about recognizing that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. While you may not always control the outcome, you can control the effort you put in. If you fail, you can view that failure as a valuable learning experience.
Not feeling emotions is one of the most foolish things you can do as a human being. We are meant to feel emotions—they are integral to who we are. However, we mustn’t let those emotions cloud our judgment or dictate our decisions.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;
People love to talk, and as any game of Chinese whispers (or Telephone) shows, what you say often ends up far removed from its original meaning. People might lie about you, rumours can spread, or innocent misunderstandings can spiral out of control. Gossiping and twisting stories are things people often indulge in, but their actions are a reflection of them, not of you. Don’t worry too much about it. Stay true to yourself.
Words can hurt—there’s no denying that. But like a double-edged sword, words cannot alter your past actions or intentions. Whatever good or bad you or someone else has done or said isn’t going to change much in the grand scheme of things. Don’t waste too much energy dwelling on it.
Sometimes, a project you’ve poured months of effort into can crumble before your eyes because of one overlooked detail. In those moments, all you can do is shrug it off, roll up your sleeves, and start rebuilding. Failure isn’t the end of the world. As long as you’re alive and thinking clearly, there are few things you can’t start over.
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
What one has achieved in the past is remarkable, and if it provides experience or lessons to learn from, then that’s invaluable. But beyond that, it’s all moot. You should be willing to risk it all and gamble everything on something if you truly believe it’s worth the risk. (Of course, as you grow older, your risk appetite tends to diminish—whether that’s good or bad, I’m not entirely sure.)
If you win that gamble, it’s incredible, and you should celebrate it. But if you don’t win and lose everything, that’s okay too. Accept it, learn from your mistakes, and move on without making excuses or blaming circumstances for the loss. As long as you give it your all, the outcome shouldn’t matter. Keep giving it your best, learn from the past, and keep pushing forward.
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
There are moments when you find yourself both emotionally and physically drained. Life may not be unfolding the way you want it to, and it feels like nothing you do makes a difference—every choice seems wrong. Or, more literally, you might be engaged in a strenuous activity, and all you want to do is quit and take it easy.
It’s in these moments that you need to push yourself beyond what you believe your limits are. Even when the odds of succeeding feel minuscule, you summon the will to keep going. You push through the tedious, gruelling tasks—the ones that are dull but necessary—because you’re the kind of person who gets things done. It’s not just about the outcome; it’s about proving to yourself that you can endure and overcome.
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
People come in all shapes and sizes, and what one person wants out of life may not align with what you want. Don’t judge others based on their goals, possessions, or lack thereof. Just because a group of people pursues something that doesn’t resonate with you doesn’t mean you need to follow them. Stand firm, hold your ground, and act according to your ethics and morals.
There will be times when you have power over someone or are more skilled at something than they are, and there will be times when you encounter people whose abilities leave you in awe—skills you’ve only dreamed of. Treat all these situations the same. There’s something to learn from everyone, regardless of their position or skill set. Stay humble, remain open, and avoid passing judgment.
Neither overly negative nor excessively positive responses from others should dictate what you think or how you feel. Your sense of self should remain steady. Be someone others can count on—the kind of person who shows up when it matters—but never allow anyone to depend on you so much that it becomes unhealthy, for you or them. Similarly, never rely so heavily on others that your sense of self or purpose is compromised. Strike a balance: let all people matter to you, but not so much that you lose sight of yourself or your path.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!
Time waits for no one. Whether you do nothing or accomplish a great deal, time will continue to pass. It is unforgiving because it won’t pause for your struggles, your happiness, or your circumstances. That’s why it’s essential to muster the courage to consistently work toward your goals. How much time you have is uncertain—you could unexpectedly die of something like a brain aneurysm, even as a healthy adult. At the end of each day, you should be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know you spent your time well.
This doesn’t mean you need to become a workaholic or constantly grind away at something. For some people, time well spent means being with friends and family. For others, it might be relaxing with an afternoon nap or playing video games. There’s no universal answer to what constitutes time well spent—it’s personal and will vary from one person to another. The key is to ensure that whatever you do, aligns with what matters to you.
And if you can embrace all of these ideas, if you can fall in love with the process rather than fixating solely on your goals, you’ll find happiness and live a life you truly love. (Or, at least I think so.)